Self-actualization means emotional transformation. An individual transforms from fear to happiness, from shyness to assertiveness, from narrow-mindedness to open-mindedness, from comfort to courage. This assumes the clarity of perspective that allows you to see clearly what lies ahead or what lies outside the seeming limitations that scare you. (Thanks Dr. Dups)
There was nothing more painful and humiliating than the thought that I refused to learn once in my life. I refused because I wanted to show to people that I was perfect in my own ways and that I insisted my ways to them. I never took the courage to open myself to possibilities of positive change instead I embraced the status quo - the state where I felt so comfortable and convenient. It was only when I felt so uncomfortable inside the shell that cocooned me after all those years that I decided to go out, to break my ego, and to bruise my persona. It was only then I realized I had grown a thousand folds.
Indeed, a hermit crab cannot grow bigger unless he finds a bigger shell to shelter him.
Progress is a painful process one has to go through. Progress is never attained through scholastic education alone but through self-assessment, scrutinizing oneself to every single bit of character which defines you as a person. It is indeed an excruciating course for one to take. It takes ones to be humble, not with the slight of being defensive. Remember that too much humility is pride. Try to locate that central source of pride in you. Being humble doesn’t mean being nice. Being too humble means being too proud of yourself. For one to grow, he or she should be ready to accept compliments and criticisms with grace and with the intention of reflecting through them. You being in my class means you are my subjects of scrutiny and so am I under yours. However, never have had I any intention of belittling someone who has not gone at par with my standards. I stand in front of your class everyday not because I want to show you I am over and above you- that I am a better person than you are, but because I have something to share that you need to learn.
Isn’t it unfair when I come to the class with all my heart and commitment while you sit half-hearted? It takes two to tango. However, I have never failed to remind myself to appreciate every bit of effort we put into this endeavor. But isn’t it more humiliating and offending when your appreciation is rejected? But I can’t take it against anyone else nor put the blame to anyone. After all, I did not come to be desirable.
Furthermore, learning means accepting the truth no matter what. Hence, learning requires one to be confident. I want you to take note of this: Incompetent people complain when things go wrong and wallow in their failure but competent people quickly find ways to make amends so not to make the same mistake again. Incompetent people self-destruct when confronted with reality but competent people build themselves into someone stronger. As a coach, I cannot sugarcoat things when they are unpleasant. I cannot make one feel good by not speaking my truth. I speak my truth because I cannot afford flattery. I speak my truth because I cannot stomach giving false hopes. My source of pride is my honesty. It is my resolve that only when we start to be truly honest that we free ourselves from the bondage of hypocrisy that impedes us from finding the truth about ourselves. It is only when meaningful learning happens.
Finally, I cannot apologize for speaking my truth in the class because if I do it means I am sorry for being true. Not anyone can make me feel bad at myself just because I want to speak my truth about what has gone wrong-that what has deviated must be corrected.
I am truly grateful you share with me your smiles, complaints, and tantrums.
NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.
